Top Five Reasons People Don’t Feel Connected to God


As a pastor, I've heard so many stories from people who are trying to connect with God. My guess is you've got a story about trying to connect with God too, and maybe not being able to.

I've heard countless stories from Christians, people who are ‘spiritual' but who are not sure what that means, people who follow other faiths and atheists and agnostics who used to believe but stopped believing because they couldn't connect.

My guess is the main reason you're even reading this post is because you want to connect more closely with God.

The truth is, almost everyone does.

The challenge is, most people—including Christians— aren't exactly sure how to grow spiritually.

While this list isn't scientific, here's what I have come to see as the top 5 reasons people don't feel connected to God. Not all of them may be true in every case, but my guess is we've all be caught up in one of them at one time or another:

1. People are not sure what they mean by “God.” In an age where the term ‘God' is used to to describe everything from a Higher Power, to a Universal Life Force, to a term to describe the object of worship in many world religions, people aren't clear on what they mean by God. Add to that the post-modern tendency to define God personally and eclectically (this is who I think God is and I've customized the concept to suit me), and the term “God” ends up meaning so many different things to so many different people. It's difficult to connect personally with an impersonal God. One of the refreshing (but challenging) things about Christianity is that God is not defined as an idea, or a concept, but as a Person, revealed ultimately in Jesus Christ.

2. People aren't sure how connecting to God actually works. Even if you believe God is personal, and even if you believe that God is revealed in Jesus, how exactly do you connect to him? In our next series, called Pivot, we'll look at 5 thing that anyone can do that will move you closer to God. It involves reading your bible and praying, but it's more than that too. There are clear ways to draw closer, it's just that many people haven't connected the dots. Hopefully this series will help us all do that.

3. People have no one to share spiritual questions or experiences with. In a world that has never been better connected, isolation is ironically a persistent problem. Even people who have great friendships (believe it or not, many people do not) still find that they really don't connect spiritually with anyone. Who can you have a spiritual conversation with? When that's missing in your life, it becomes really difficult to grow, in large measure because God designed us to be in community where those discussions take place. And while Sunday morning services play a key role in people's spiritual development, if Sundays are all you do, then Sundays are all you get. That's why we've created other environments like Alpha and GroupLink where deeper relationships can develop and you can grow even closer to God.

4. Faith hasn't translated to regular action.  So what is faith? Is it a belief? An idea? A moral code? Personally living out what you believe actually connects you more deeply with God.

5. People don't know how to find God in life's toughest moments. Let's face it, life isn't easy. And people often equate the presence of difficulty with the absence of God. But is that true? One of the reasons people don't grow spiritually is because they don't know where to look for God in the crises. Pivotal circumstances never leave people neutral; they either lean into God or they lean away from him. Again, in Pivot, we'll look deeply into the jaws of life's most difficult moments to discover that not only do people find God, but many actually grow in the midst of crisis.

Got a friend struggling with any one of these five issues? Text them right now, talk to them at work this week, give em a call, or invite them to attend church with you this weekend.

My hope? That connecting with God doesn't need to be nearly the mystery it is to so many. So I'm really looking forward to the next five weeks at Connexus!

In the meantime, why do you think people don't feel connected to God? What would you add to this list?

 – Carey



  1. Seeking God says, September 5, 2013 at 9:33 pm

    Another strong reason people don’t feel connected to God is feeling God hurt them when a tragedy occurred and blaming God, such as, when a loved one died or even when they don’t believe God causes bad things to happen to good people…they question if God really loved me why didn’t He protect me or my loved ones or if God is All Powerful why didn’t He protect me/ux. Blaming God and not forgiving Him makes it hard to draw close to Him and trust Him.

    • Carey Nieuwhof - Lead Pastor says, September 7, 2013 at 2:04 pm

      You are 100% right about that. We’re actually going to address that in Part 5 of the Pivot series. Hope you can join us for that part.

  2. Lynettte smith-Covey says, October 9, 2017 at 11:31 am

    Another thing that impeeds connecting and often can create a roll coaster faith for the person who does connect are emotions. Specifically regret, guilt, shame. Especially when its something somewhat out of thier control or something that got out of hand. I have found while counseling alot of youth, Connecting and keeping that connection is impossible when these feelings are present.

  3. […]    Our feelings are important. But they simply are not the facts. And the enemy loves nothing more than to chip away at the validity of what Christ has done through cultivating our misleading feelings. Connexus church has a good article on this found here.  […]

  4. […]    Our feelings are important. But they simply are not the facts. And the enemy loves nothing more than to chip away at the validity of what Christ has done through cultivating our misleading feelings. Connexus church has a good article on this found here.  […]

  5. Lora says, July 9, 2021 at 2:31 am

    Or you fail to grow because everyone has a different opinion than yours. How do you try to understand if you already have your own?

  6. Lora says, July 9, 2021 at 2:40 am

    My nephew is like that he blames god for the hardships in his life. But when your not fully awake you can’t see why things happened the way they did. Everything has meaning. He thinks that if he’s in the middle then everything will be ok… it’s not enough just to believe there is a god. God wants to have a relationship with you. But how do you get them to even want to know?

  7. Kenneth Gray says, January 9, 2022 at 1:31 am

    I have never heard, seen, or felt any connection to God. This whole “God wants a relationship with us” thing is a problem for me. A relationship requires imput from both sides. God is completely silent, thus no imput from His side. I have been waiting 42+ years for any kind of a response from God. There can’t be a connection to God when He doesn’t show up. So yes I do blame God for His lack of involvement, His infernal silence, and His heartbreaking absence. Only God can stop God from making a connection to us.

    Thanks and God bless you, in Jesus holy name, Amen.

    • Justin Piercy says, January 31, 2022 at 10:17 am

      Hey Kenneth, thanks so much for sharing honestly and openly. It is so painful and difficult when we are looking for that connection and are met with silence. I’d love to chat with you. I’ll send you an email.

    • Ben says, April 30, 2022 at 2:40 am

      I have a similar experience. To connect with God is like trying to find a way through a granite wall. It makes me feel so rejected.

      • Justin Piercy says, May 5, 2022 at 3:54 pm

        Ben, I’m sorry this has been your experience. I’d love to connect with you. I’ll send you a quick note.

Leave a Comment