In today’s world, it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that our job as parents is to raise independent, self-sufficient adults. We want our kids to stand on their own two feet, get good jobs, build stable relationships, and confidently navigate life’s ups and downs. But is that really the end goal of parenting? What if the real goal, isn’t to raise independent children, but to raise God-dependent adults.
Let that sink in for a second.
This shift in perspective might feel surprising, especially in a culture that values independence and self-reliance so highly. But when you stop to think about it, no one is truly independent. We all depend on something—whether it’s your job, your relationships, your finances, or even your comfort zone. Maybe you even struggle with dependency on things that are unhealthy when times get hard. The key question then becomes: What will your child choose to depend on when life inevitably gets tough?
Independence is a Myth
We often see independence as the ultimate mark of success. As parents, we imagine our kids landing their first job, paying their bills, moving out on their own, and making smart decisions without constantly needing our help. These milestones feel like victories. But even as adults, we’re not truly independent. We rely on our work to pay the bills, on our loved ones for emotional support, and on countless other things to give us a sense of security.
But what happens when the job is lost, the relationship fails, or the money runs out? Where do we—and where do our kids—turn then? If the foundation we’re building for them is all about worldly success, it won’t hold up when life throws its inevitable curveballs.
A Better Goal: God-Dependency
As parents we need to look beyond the world’s standard of success and instead focus on raising God-dependent adults. This means teaching our kids to rely on something (or Someone) far greater than a paycheck, a career, or even their own abilities. It’s about pointing them to the One who remains steady through every storm—God.
There is no such thing as a perfect parent or a perfect kid. But the goal of parenting isn’t perfection; it’s pointing to our Father who is.
So, what does it mean to raise a God-dependent adult? It’s not about shielding them from every challenge or giving them all the answers. It’s about modeling a faith that’s lived out in everyday moments. When kids see us turn to God in prayer, lean on Scripture for guidance, and trust God’s promises even when things don’t go as planned, they begin to understand that their ultimate dependence should be on Him.
Making Faith Personal
You can’t lead your kids to a place you haven’t been yourself. If it isn’t in you, it won’t be in them. Before we can expect our children to live God-dependent lives, we have to make sure that we’re living that way, too. It’s about more than just taking them to church or saying grace before dinner. It’s about letting your kids see how your relationship with God shapes your decisions, your reactions, and the way you handle life’s challenges.
Do they see you turning to God in prayer when you’re stressed or overwhelmed? Do they hear you talk about how your faith influences your decisions at work or at home? Our kids are always watching, and if they see us living out a genuine, faith-filled life, they’re more likely to follow suit.
Creating a Spiritual Rhythm
Another essential piece of this puzzle is creating a spiritual rhythm in your home. This doesn’t mean turning your house into a church service, but it does mean normalizing conversations about faith. Talk to your kids about what God is doing in your life, ask them what they think about Him, and make room for questions—even the hard ones. The more faith becomes a natural part of everyday conversation, the more comfortable they’ll feel making it their own.
God-Dependent Adults Thrive
At the end of the day, our kids will face the same challenges we do—stress, loss, failure, and uncertainty. As much as we want to protect them, we can’t shield them from everything. What we can do, however, is equip them with a foundation that won’t crumble when life gets tough.
Raising a God-dependent adult isn’t about giving them an easy life; it’s about helping them navigate the hard times with confidence, knowing they can rely on God to carry them through. That, in the long run, is far more valuable than any level of independence our culture, or even we can promise them.
So, the next time you think about the future for your kids, ask yourself: Are you raising them to be independent, or are you raising them to be dependent on the One who never fails? The answer could change everything.
Watch ‘Are The Kids Okay?‘ with Jeff Brodie. For more great parenting resources visit our family resources page.
