Heart Break Journal – Day Four | September 3rd

Carey 6:13 a.m.

We are almost half way through Heart Break this week.  How is it going for you?  Nice to see a few posts on the blog and to get feedback through email and conversation. 

We have heard of people fasting food, caffeine, pop, desserts, facebook, e-bay (yup), make-up, Tim Horton's and much more.  And it's been so great to pray with people.  It's been so great to do this together with my wife too.  I continue to be amazed by her devotion to Jesus and to the work God has called us to.  She's so fantastic (had to say that).

The overwhelming sense I'm getting so far is that we have barely scratched the surface of impacting our communities.  When we see the potential and we understand how small our impact has been.  We have records of just over 1300 people who have come to Connexus in our first nine months, and there are maybe 1000 who regularly call Connexus home.  And that's out of 200,000 people who don't go to church.  God surely has a heart for more.

I'm leaving in a few minutes for the Emmanuel Baptist Church parking lot to pray for the churches of Barrie and Rich will be gathering at First Baptist Orillia to pray for the churches of Orillia.  It's going to take all of us to reach this region!

Carey 12: 56 p.m.
It's great to hear some of the stories/perspectives coming into the blog.  Thank you!  And thanks to those of you who keep getting up early to pray…and for those of you who are praying in different cities.  Got an email today from someone who tracks with us online who is praying for Toronto. Great!

As I move into day four, I am thinking more and more about how my personal sin and lack of faith impacts what God wants to do.  I'm asking God to bring to mind things I need to deal with, confess, or learn from.

Where does Day 4 mid-day leave you in all this?  I know from personal conversations (and the posts so far) that some of you are beginning to have deep experiences in this.



  1. Michael Creasor says, September 3, 2008 at 9:28 am

    As I have been reflecting about the people in our community and the things that break God's heart, I was reminded of the Nickelback video,Savin Me, that you showed in church a little over a year ago where a man was saved from being hit by a car and suddenly he was able to see count down clocks above people's heads to see how much time they had left in their lives. This was something very disturbing for the man and he began wandering the streets unable to continue going about the day to day of his life.

    What if people had a sign floating above them that told the true story of their heart, what if you could see their pain, their loneliness, their despair? Could we continue on with our lives as though nothing was different or would we be compelled to act, to do more to help one another, to share God's love? If I could see what was in the heart of my neighbour, my friend, my co-workers … would I sit idly by or would I be like the man in the video, unable to continue with the daily routine, compelled to act?

    When I think of this I am reminded that God does see what is in their hearts, He sees their pain, their loneliness, their despair and I am sure His heart is broken as He longs to bring them into a relationship with Him.

  2. Esther A-B says, September 3, 2008 at 10:48 am

    This is the first time that I've contributed to the "blog". The week of fasting and prayer has a special meaning for me. I've been on a journey of spiritual rejuvenation and growth over the past 3-4 years. While Carey described being at one his lowest points about two years ago, I believe God was still using him and working through him to speak to me as well as other people. It was at the very time when Carey talked about being at his "lowest" at Trinity, when I started to experience an amazing spiritual "awakening". Around that time, I was being drawn into into a deeper relationship with God. I also began to experience spiritual warfare for the first time and I really felt like my life was falling apart. I understand now that those who are growing in their spiritual walk are the most susceptible to attacks from the enemy. However, I persisted with daily prayer and reading the bible. What I discovered was that I was developing courage and strength in my faith. Without that courage and strength, I wouldn't have survived the many emotional, physical and spiritual attacks that kept hitting me.

    Sometimes it is hard to "pick and choose" what things to pray for. Some things – like friends who are hurting or dying, or loved ones who don't know Jesus are obvious choices. However, there are so many bigger issues beyond our own little environments. Sometimes I feel pretty insignificant to be asking God to give our leaders (church, community, provincial, federal)wisdom and protection, or to bless needy children and to provide for them. But if God has a purpose for my life (and I believe he does) then that purpose goes way beyond what I think is important. I believe that a Christian community can accomplish a lot by praying and caring for others. Fasting (for me it meant giving up 2 hours of music during my daily commute to work this week)and praying has really brought my daily prayer life into sharper focus. Without any distractions, I've really felt more sensitive to the world and needs around me. As a result, I'm asking God to use me for the things that matter most to him. I'm also asking for continued strength, courage and wisdom to live the kind of life that will make a difference in someone else's life.

  3. Elly Baerg says, September 3, 2008 at 1:54 pm

    This is my first blog contribution in fact it is the first blog I have ever even read. But when Cary mentioned it in the Sunday service I wanted to get a sense of what others were doing and feeling with the fast. I have decided to only have liquids during the week .
    My first awareness of different feelings was when I was chatting with my mom on monday evening and I was talking about being in church today, she commented back that it was monday and why was I in church on monday? At first I was confused why I thought that! but I guess I felt like I had been in Gods house all day and most of my thoughts and actions had been more of what I typically do on a Sunday .
    All my thoughts memories, emotions and feelings are much more intense and each time I feel the hunger and I am reminded of all the prayer requests and needs of the community. I have felt very overwhelmed by this at times. I now see much more clearly what my day to day thoughts and activities are and how they consume me. I have never done a fast before but I would really recommend it. I feel closer than I have ever been before to seeking God's heart and I am looking forward to the rest of the week and what our Lord will show me.

  4. Carey Nieuwhof says, September 3, 2008 at 2:31 pm

    Thanks Elly, Mike, Dianne and Esther for sharing your experiences. I am so encouraged by what Christ is doing in your hearts this week. Mine too. When we seek Him, He has a way of more than finding us.

  5. Joey says, September 3, 2008 at 8:39 pm

    Since we started on the journey this week of Heart Break I've been looking closer at the faces of strangers around me. Praying for them, wondering about them, hoping they are okay and hoping they will somehow draw closer to God.

    I attended two prayer sessions so far in Barrie – if you haven't been, I would highly recommend it. The prayers just flowed from the group and it was awesome to pray for the broader community together (in the sessions I was at we prayed for Barrie schools and churches).

    I love praying for people in the phone book too. It opens my heart. I'm very busy but making time for this has been amazing.

    This has been a deeply profound journey so far. I'm very grateful.

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